culture,  style,  womens issues

English Summer – Day In The Garden

+ How To Communicate Romantic Appeal

Dear readers, in the past I have mostly written about the clothing and lifestyle habits that we as women instinctively love. We are grown women who dress for ourselves, thank you very much! However today’s topic is a little different. Aimed at my heterosexual female readers, I discuss some of the habits regarding dress and grooming that are conducive to attraction. Here are 8 areas in which women can improve their attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Click below for fantastic inspiration from popular culture and literature.

Location: Queen Mary’s Gardens.

1. Photography

To capture your body and spirit in the most flattering light, consider hiring professional photographers. There is a booming industry of photographers on Facebook and Instagram waiting to transform your image. If you are lucky to have talented sisters, mums, or girlfriends, enlist their help in capturing you at your best. Taking photographs for others is a labour of love, it may take 10 shots to get a good one, so I often repay others’ kindness by taking their photographs too.

↑ My friend Joy looks absolutely gorgeous and comfortable outfitted in creamy custard yellow.

2. Written Content

Whether you are funny, intellectual, down to earth, lighthearted, or ALL of the above, make sure your amazing personality, personal passions and religious priorities are clearly communicated in your social media posts. Everybody has negative or frustrating past experiences, consider communicating these in an inspirational or even funny tone of voice.

↑ Summer garden attire that isn’t sportswear. High-end designers items are obviously very covetable, but I adore high street and affordable vintage offerings just the same. The top and skirt were a surprise discount find. My handbag is pre-loved from the 1960s.

3. Body Language

I love good eye contact. It communicates honesty and directness. However, in dating there are other types of glances that are particularly useful. Consider tilting your head down, or looking away, this allows for traditional male capacity to chase. When you seem to be minding your own business is when others seem to be most attracted to you. Looking back at these photos now, we should definitely have smiled as well! Women are not passive, helpless creatures. But unfortunately as governed by traditional dating theory, men chase and women are chosen. I believe one of our great powers is in who we accept.

4. Clothing, Shoes, Jewellery

I have seen head-to-toe black punk princesses, demure ladies in elaborate clothing, and everyday plain Janes find happily ever after. Dress according to your unique personality, and stay within your budget. Choose fashion items that accentuate your lovely assets, and skilfully tuck away any problem areas. Extra brownie points if you are adorned in attractive colours.

Miriam from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel always looks perfectly groomed and dressed. This brightly hued frock complements her colourful personality well.

5. Skin, Hair

We cannot change our hair colour or skin type, but we can make skincare and lifestyle changes that allow us to be the best versions of ourselves. Find a hairstyle that frames your beautiful face well. Choose a colour that is easy and affordable to maintain. Invest in a trustworthy hair-curler, hair straightener or hair dryer. No go-getting career-oriented single woman has time to put 50 curlers in her hair and leave it on the whole night.

Good skin is healthy skin: focus on protection, cleansing and moisturising. Speaking from past experience of terrible acne, prevention is greatly preferred to treatment. Advanced skin care with potent ingredients can be added to the regimen of my lovely girlfriends aged 28-30+.

↑Above: Whilst reading and researching for my degree dissertation, one of the areas I explored was how fashion and body ideals are shaped by patriarchal standards.

6. Figure

Our modern bodies have two opposite problems in terms of health and fitness: overexercising and an overly sedentary lifestyle. Moderate exercise is easy to manage and beneficial to both our mood and our figure. Word of advice to ladies: avoid running alone outdoors in a quiet environment you’re not familiar with, it may be a safety risk.

7. Approach

This one I found difficult to categorise: basically – do not chase. Do not say hello first, do not say happy birthday first, do not message first, do not care about him first before he made concrete efforts over a period of time that showed he cared a lot about you. Before he invests his time, energy and money, he is like a ghost – he does not exist.

This is my least favourite area because it is subtly manipulative and selfish. Unfortunately, I don’t make the rules of relationships dynamics. I know there are exceptions, perhaps even successful exceptions to this, but they tend not to be the norm.

In a time where few women had elite occupations, Joan Clarke as pictured in Imitation Game was one of the best female cryptanalysts.

8. Calling

Throw yourself into your callings and your passions wholeheartedly. I understand many ladies are in “invisible” career fields like nursing, accounting, or cleaning. Or like myself, working in a private studio setting. The limelight tends to be on women with public careers.

However, we can all talk, blog, or post about our unique callings. Also doesn’t hurt to take a beautiful photo of yourself in your neat uniform once in a while. I recall seeing a young lady who works in funeral services as an undertaker in the news. Real men admire those who glorify God through developing their skills and talents, albeit behind the scenes.

I don’t do all of these things perfectly. More often than not, I give myself a break from these guidelines. And I’m certainly not trying to lecture anybody – but these things I had to learn myself and I wish someone had shared them with me. As feminists, we do not exist for men. But all perspectives, even though antiquated and perhaps unpopular should be explored if we aim to be open-minded individuals.

Do my male and female readers have anything to add to my list?

Wishing everyone a beautiful end of summer with sunny days and balmy nights. Until next time!

I'd love to hear your thoughts